Relationship Sanity: Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships



Listen to the Big Blend Radio interview with psychiatrist Grant Brenner who discusses his new book “Relationship Sanity: Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships,” co-authored by psychoanalyst Mark Borg and registered nurse Daniel Berry.

Most of us want to be in loving, honest, open-hearted relationships, but few of us are aware that we may also be afraid of intimacy. If we grew up in less-than-perfect families, then we likely internalized a way of dealing with loved ones that prevents us from embracing the intimate relationships and meaningful connections that we so desperately crave. As a result, many of us are trapped in dysfunctional relationships, not just with significant others, but also with family members, coworkers, and friends.

In “RELATIONSHIP SANITY:” (a Central Recovery Press paperback) – the follow-up to their bestselling title, “Irrelationship” psychoanalyst Mark Borg, psychiatrist Grant Brenner, and registered nurse Daniel Berry draw on their extensive clinical research and experience to illuminate the underlying issues that prevent us from entering into authentic relationships. Offering accessible assessment tools to help identify damaging habits, this team of experts provides readers with a step-by-step guide to help them develop compassionate empathy, embrace vulnerability, and commit to an ongoing nurturing of the relationships they value.

Drawing on relatable case studies of those who addressed their dysfunctional, toxic, or estranged relationships, Borg, Brenner, and Berry show readers how to approach common relationship hurdles by using:

1. The 40-20-40. This tool creates a safe space for partners to interact by creating a middle ground (20 percent) for negotiating issues created by differences they bring to the table from their respective (40 percent).

2. GRAFTS Assessment. Partners learn which role they have taken on since childhood (Good, Right, Absent, Funny, Tense, Smart). Identifying roles empowers us to take responsibility for damaging behaviors that we contribute to the relationship.

3. Compassionate Empathy. This tool teaches self-acceptance and open-hearted listening so that partners can name and own each other’s needs and desires.

4. The Dream Sequence. Standing for Discovery, Repair, Empowerment, Alternatives, and Mutuality, this proven step-by-step process helps partners learn how to create safe, intimate relationships despite feelings of vulnerability.

Utilizing quizzes, exercises, and assessment charts, RELATIONSHIP SANITY enables readers to ascertain and counteract the detrimental, ingrained behaviors that negatively impact adult relationships.  Perfect for those who have become lonely in their relationships, as well as for those who are trapped in toxic exchanges, this essential guide offers invaluable tools for anyone seeking healthier connections with their partners, loved ones, and colleagues. More at  

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