THE ART OF LISTENING: TUNING IN TO YOURSELF & OTHERS
By Shelley Whizin
March is Listening Awareness Month, and while we often think of listening as something we do for others, it truly begins with listening to ourselves. We live in a world filled with noise—external chatter, social media, news updates, and the constant hum of distractions. But how often do we pause and really listen—not just to others, but to our own inner wisdom?
As a death midwife, I’ve sat with people in their final moments, holding space for them to share their deepest thoughts, regrets, joys, and unfinished stories. And through these sacred experiences, I’ve learned something profound: Listening isn’t just hearing—it’s receiving. It’s an act of love, a gift, and an art.
Step One: Listening to Yourself
Before we can become great listeners for others, we need to master self-listening.
- Silence is golden. Spend time in stillness each day. No phone, no TV, no distractions. Just you, your breath, and the quiet wisdom of your own thoughts.
- Journal your inner dialogue. What is your intuition whispering? Are you pushing down emotions that need attention?
- Trust the messages within. Your body, your emotions, and your inner knowing are constantly speaking to you. Are you listening?
When we become better at hearing our own truth, we create space for deep presence—and that’s when we can truly show up for others.
Step Two: The Power of Active Listening
In relationships, listening is everything. When people feel heard, they feel valued. But let’s be honest—most of us are just waiting for our turn to talk! Active listening flips the script and turns communication into connection.
Here’s how to master it:
✅ Be fully present. Put the phone down, stop mentally composing your response, and give the other person your full attention.
✅ Use nonverbal cues. Nod, smile, lean in slightly—let them see you’re engaged.
✅ Reflect back. Say things like, “What I hear you saying is…” or “It sounds like you’re feeling…” This deepens the conversation.
✅ Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “Did you have a good day?” try “What was the best part of your day?”
✅ Resist the urge to fix. Sometimes, people just want to be heard, not given solutions. Offer presence, not prescriptions.
Listening at the End of Life: The Greatest Gift
At the end of life, people don’t want lectures. They don’t need advice. They need to be heard. Sitting with the dying has taught me that when we actively listen, we invite people to share more than just words—we invite them to share their soul.
They speak of love, of regrets, of moments they cherish. And sometimes, it’s not even about what’s spoken—it’s about the space we hold for them to be fully seen and heard.
Final Thought: Listen Like It’s the Last Time
Imagine if we all listened as if it were the last conversation we’d ever have with that person. How differently would we engage? How much more present would we be?
This Listening Awareness Month, let’s commit to deep listening—to ourselves, to our loved ones, and to those who just need someone to truly hear them. Because at the end of the day, being heard is being loved.
Shelley Whizin is a transformational life coach and the founder and CEO of the Soul Diving Institute™ (SDI), established to study and teach the art and science of Being Human. She’s also the author of “The Healing Journal”, “The Story of the Magical Baby Grand Piano”, and “What Do You Bring to the Table? A Savory, Sensory and Inspirational Guide to Living a Yummy Delicious Life”. More at www.ShelleyWhizin.com
